i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
