Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
