I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
