You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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