I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
