I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
