Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
