we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
