i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
