so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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