My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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