he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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