Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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