Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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