Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
