I cannot find my penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
