Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
