So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
