But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
