he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
