my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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