Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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