I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
