so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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