I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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