Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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