He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
