I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
