I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
