I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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