just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
