I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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