i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
