the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
