I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
