Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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