I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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