doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
