Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
