My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
