I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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