You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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