True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
