did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
