I want to make a zoo with you.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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