Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
