walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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