I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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