I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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