She said her name was "party"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
