We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
