i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
